Dream Journal

1993

7-2-93

I had the weirdest dream last night, I had a dream that me, Leslie and I think Caletto were walking down a Canyon. Then it got really narrow and then we started hearing really loud explosions and we thought it was world war three. Then we heard chants coming down the canyon, really loud, so we ran and hid behind a rock barely in time. They were like gnomes, or purple humans with cone hats and robes from another planet coming down the canyon. Before that dream, I had one that James (a guest) had carved out a dinosaur head in a rock along the canyon. On a pervious trip I remember seeing it. It was huge.

1995

6-20-95

(stoned dream) I was looking up about timberline and there were others there. Then I decided to go for the summit, I think I made it. Then of the other side I went into a mountain valley and hitched a ride. We were at about timberline and a big sow storm came and it snowed like 25 feet and I was using my Ice ax and kicking my feet huge holes to climb up the vertical wall, each step took about a minute to kick out. There was a group in there with me. They were trying to tell me not to climb out. Then I fell back in and was at war with the natives, they were fighting with spears that they dipped into the frog and to make them poisonous. We ended up winning I think, but we all retreated in one of our huge RV's as big as a bus, and we accidentally left the keys in the ignition, so these diaper wearing natives got in the other one after a refreshment of their spears (which we drove them away from), were following and tail gaiting us by about 10 feet. We must have shaken them, because when we got to town they weren't there, and we meet with these weird people we hugged and greeted kindly when we entered their house, then I heard we made friends with them because they are from the country next door that we are having a war with. Then we got in our cars and drove off. That's as much as I remember. Went for two big rides yesterday to Gross and day before to Walker ranch. I am weak, I must need to rest, it comes easily. I hope to leave on the 16th. I guess I will work for Shano only a couple days then. I am reading Journey of the peaceful warrior now.

6-23-95

I had an interesting dream last night I as in a town as big as Boulder driving around with my mom for a while, the only dialogue I can remember was her saying it is better to have an apartment than a house,, I remember considering it, of everybody having apartments and if it was better, it made me think, because it was her saying it. Then I remember going to party in the suburbs as a front seat passenger in a nice car at a nice house of a kid I knew and the parents were there making hordeurvs, I was in the front room, nice with a nice sound system and many c.d.'s. I remember a belligerent gangster and he got into a yelling match with cliff (16 year old neighbor) then he calmed down and was cool, but cliff was still yelling, I think that is were my dream ended. I pray for a past life dream tonight.

6-24-95

My dream last night I was in Durango living at the same place with Janet but it was a different house, I had a polite, intelligent conversation with her in a west facing kitchen. Then this 50 foot high Indian on a house rode over the ridge and scared everyone, he came to my house and was walking around, I was hiding from him, and someone came up to him, then I thought, 'I shouldn't be afraid, he's probably nice so I showed myself to him and he was my friend. We talked and he was really powerful and happy, then I think he went into the TV screen, I can't remember anymore than that.

6-25-95

I had a dream last night that I was on a rugby team, and we took chevy vans to the matches outside in some strange town. I was new so I wasn't that good. One time I played the goalie but the ball got past me one time I had the ball and Keanu Reeves tackled me but jabbed me in the back and paralyzed me for a little bit and it hurt, I got mad but nobody cared. Then we were going to have a game but there team showed up and decided not to play and drove their team showed up and decided not to play and drove their van off. Andy Paton was on that team. Then the van turned into my van with a bubble and a new arrangement inside, then it turned into my dads van I was driving through the city with my dad and there was someone buried under water or something, so he gave me the car and went to help because he knew something to do. Within less than a minute there were about 50 cars and a hundred people at the scene. Then I was hanging out the night with my dad, and there was a full moon, I looked at it and it was so dig like the moon on my bus, cartoon like. I was so clear then I ran through the streets and had some interactions with some people then I watched a Moab Mountain bike race with class. European pro riders, they were all amazingly climbing up a steep grade and some how bunny hopping over a crevice and kept going and me thinking 'I can't do that' Greg Lemond was near the front of the group and he did an amazing short cut where he jumped off a ledge across a crevice and landed about six feet lower and kept going. Then I saw him at his retired mansion retreat saying he wasn't diseased anymore and was going to start racing again. Then I was with my dad again and the sun was rising and the moon setting on the pacific ocean, it was all white now and huge, like a foot wide at arms length, then it fades and disappeared just before the sun rose. Then I was at the dream equivalent of my old big house in Boulder except this house was the size of a hotel . Could house like 50 people, it had a middle open garden area and a swimming pool and three hot tubs in the back patio which was where my first real roommates lived. My dad was in a room next to mine, I had to go through his to get to mine, we were only staying there a little bit because we just said it. I remember porno magazines of muscle women and I kept wanting to look at them but didn't want anybody else to know so I had to keep hiding them, that's all I remember.

6-26-95

I was a college student at what resembles fort Lewis in Gotham City and I was Batman and the joker was one of my professors, when he said something obvious and scientific I guess it was my play to stand up and say 'Bullshit'. So he said 'OK' you--(it's was that you can't improve your vision), have two weeks to prove me wrong (he knew I wore glasses) or you fail the class', I didn't do much about it and became worried then as due-date neared he was Pam Young, my exceptionalities teachers, and I had a special presentation to give and she wanted to help me out because it was difficult. I also remember being in a large high school type building going into the 'Retards room', I guess I was helping them, and some girls trying to start a conversation with me while I was locking up my bike.

6-22-95

In my dream last night we were going to go see the Grateful Dead play in Aztec, and I was going to ride a canoe down the Animus with Pooh and christen, but things kept happening to slow us down, and the concert already started. Pooh suddenly freaked out and decided he needed to get there soon so he went there with Anabel? (his friend form Connecticut) Then we decided to drive there but I ended up in a house (the one two doors down from the Mariposa). It had a sauna and there was a kid about my age who had it to himself a while, I was hanging out there for a while with a group of kids getting high or something. Then the dream changed and I remember something with guns and cops. But it was light hearted.

7-9-95

(stoned dream) I was looking up about timberline and there were others there. Then I decided to go for the summit, I think I made it. Then of the other side I sent into a mountain valley and hitched a ride. We were at about timberline and a big sow storm came and it snowed like 25 feet and I was using my Ice ax and kicking my feet huge holes to climb up the vertical wall, each step took about a minute to kick out. There was a group in there with me. They were trying to tell me not to climb out. Then I fell back in and was at war with the natives, they were fighting with spears that they dipped into the frog and to make them poisonous. We ended up winning I think, but we all retreated in one of our huge RV's as big as a bus, and we accidentally left the keys in the ignition, so these diaper wearing natives got in the other one after a refreshment of their spears (which we drove them away from), were following and tail gaiting us by about 10 feet. We must have shaken them, because when we got to town they weren't there, and we meet with these weird people we hugged and greeted kindly when we entered their house, then I heard we made friends with them because they are from the country next door that we are having a war with. Then we got in our cars and drove off. That's as much as I remember.

7-16-95

My dream last night was amazing. I was hitchhiking to Leadville and I went through a tunnel the rode goes through and stayed at these peoples room about my age and they, couple girls and guys I guess and I started making out with this small, blonde, beautiful girl under in a while the cover came off and I got a little embarrassed they would look. Then I went into the nearby underground shopping mall. Then for some weird reason I decided I would get to Aspen quick if I hiked out of the tunnel the way I came and picked cars up at another play like 30-60 minutes down the rode, I didn't get picked up for a bit at my place next to a mountain river, I remember pacing up and down the river and seeing a car coming so I ran up the river to where my backpack was and up the scree to the rode and stick up my thumb at the guy who picked me up. He had a yellow pickup I think and he was cool, I was going to offer him a bat hit but I never did because we were too emersed in talking about something.

7-18-95

In my dream this morning, first I was stuck up on a 30-40 foot high cliff and this girl standing below me said she would have here men shoot me down, when I looked down I was really scared, so I changed dreams. Then I was in a strange town, I think Boulder, taking the RTD I went to a house and it turned out my dad lived there and my mom was going to move in because she was sick and needed help, he said he didn't mind. Then I went to the lake and was watching some kind of obstacle course race. It started out by the team of two being dropped in a canoe about 20-25 feet into the water and then racing around a small course. I remember it was my and this fat guys turn to go, just before we, were going to go the girls who were there (half dozen or so) started bitching about how men are so stupid and they can't understand how we think and they are on a total other level reality than us. The I found myself on land in a large van with my bike in the back and the fat guy was driving toward the lake at about 50 MPH on the large beach that leads up to it, to fast for me to jump off. When we hit the water and finally stopped, the truck was mostly submerged. I got out and started swimming back, was going to get help getting my mountain bike back, I noticed the fat guy wasn't coming so I decided to swim back, I noticed the fat guy wasn't coming so I decided to swim back and get him. That's where that dream ended. I was awake now, but I was still dreaming voices talking to me like a dream, I would think of something and they would tell me all the possibilities and variations to it I would have gone back to sleep, I would have dreamed more. If I would have meditated on the voices, I don't know what could have happened. (while I was in the bus in Boulder I saw Ted, my roommate last summer) with his new girlfriend. He moved into a new house in the town and tried to give me verbal directions, he was very happy and upbeat, not like the Ted I knew.

7-19-95

In my dream last night I was in a mountain area and climbing mountains. I was staying with my dad, And we heard the Grateful dead was playing, so we went to the large two level theater and he had to go to the bathroom or something so I said I would save a place for him in the front row. I ran through the crowd to get there and saved places and then went to the bathroom myself on the way from the bathroom on the stairs I saw a large girl pass me and I ran up to her and asked her how tall she was. I think she said 6-8 or 7 feet. I followed her in the bathroom and talked to her an little, bit then left after she did. When she passed by me I saw her nipple through her shirt and it was right below my eye. Then I went back to the seat and the dream ended as I was approaching my seat. I remember seeing my dad sitting there. Before in the dream I was in Boulder and walked through boulder High, there the cafeteria was about twice as big and it was a restaurant with waitresses and everything. It had a lot of people and I guess it was open to the students in the school year also. There were students practicing for sports and things also.

Come to think of it I have had a lot of dreams about Boulder High; 4 off the top of my head. Once it was a huge gothic 50 story building with thousands of students and the beach was right there. Every time it's way bigger than it actually is.

A mouse was scurrying around my tent and cleaning my burnt pancake pan for me. It even jumped on my head once. I just invented packing up camp sitting down and decided I like walking and baking.

7-21-95

In my dream last night I was in a mountain town and my dad let me borrow his Toyota van (we had one but flipped it a few years ago). Wyndham and I drove about a half hour up to this magazine shop (I wanted to check out a picture of a 6-8 girl). We didn't see the turn off onto the dirt drive way to the shop until it was too late and screeched in there and then had to slam on the brakes and flipped the car over forward. Wyndham got out first and said there were no front wheels, but then said he saw them and we pushed it back on it's wheels. Then the shop owner came out and he was this Asian (Chinese?) guy and said 'Have a little too much to smoke? I'm calling the cops.' And I said ''no, why, please don't, there is no damaged to your place, it was a simple mistake,'' but he just shook his head and went inside. So I said 'let's get out of here now'. And Wyndham was in the drivers seat and I said 'let me drive, you don't have a license.' So we switched seats and I blazed out of the parking lot and down the highway. After a few minutes driving we got to a section where you enter the town and have to hike down a trail. Going down the trail there were lots of people hiking up, then I saw two cute girls dressed in cop outfits. Then a few minutes later I saw two beautiful blondes dressed in cop uniforms. I said to Wyndham 'did you see those girls, maybe they were the ones who were called, maybe we should have stayed there, ha-ha. Then I saw the guy from the TV show hunter walking up the trail and we made eye contact and greeted each other. Then I saw his partner behind him, then I knew they were actually the ones called. Somehow I knew that the guy at the magazine cafe didn't have our license plate number but did tell the cops I was a hippie, but I knew Hunter didn't think I was the one because I was acting nonchalantly and was too far down the trail to be the same hippie. When we got to the road to town I started running about 50 MPH. Some kind of weird long stepped run. When I looked back I noticed Wyndham was running normally and was about a couple hundred yards back. Then we got to town and the dream ended. (When we first looked at the car after I crashed it, it had dents all over it, but was in good working shape).

Earlier in the dream I was in my moms house and there was this huge dance party going on with about a hundred people. I think I was working as a spy and had recently jumped out of a plane, high intensity stuff. Then after the party I went to a gas station to gas up for the trip to the magazine shop and this dog that looked just like biscuit came next to me and started licking me. I felt a lot of love at that place. The people all had pets and were really nice. I think that dream is why I didn't get up when my alarm went off, I wish I did. I think I'm sort of schizophrenic, sometimes wanting something, other times not.

7-22-95

I had a lot of dreams last night. The first one I can remember is I was on a winter solo backpacking trip through the 14ers of southern Colorado. I didn't actually climb a mountain but I remember trudging through the woods. You were supposed to stay in cabins, I was setting up my dads Green tent. Some one told me the rangers back track people who don't stay in the cabin. I remember thinking from now on I will cover up my foot prints in the snow with snow, and hoping that was good enough. Then I hiked up north to right above timber line I camped and I think I was going to climb the peak the next day. That night I had a crazy dream. All I can remember is I was kind of levitating and moving around my tent in a clockwise position and realizing or dreaming some very intense stuff, I remember throughout the dream state wanting to remember it. Then I was in a bike race, kind of a mountain road bike race. We were going up a steep hill, very narrow up to the overlook of a town (probably Durango now that I think about it) and through a school that was on top of it, but a grade-school. As we were riding up the hill I was in the lead starting the climb. Then this foreign got on a road bike attacked and then Cory on his mountain bike attacked. I remember thinking that I wasn't going to let Corey beat me, I was very surprised he was up there. Then I attacked and passed Cory and the foreign guy (there were many racers behind up) and remember trying to take it easy on the rocks and ledges through this now dirt trail because my tires were so thin, but I didn't get a flat and I think I won the race because all of a sudden I was outside of this grade school about the same height above the town as Ft Lewis is above Durango, although there was neighborhood behind the school. A VW bus was up there and I got in and was sitting there watching the children come out of school when a little child about 6-7 years old came in and hung out with me. He was feeling down and I talked to him and made him feel better for about an hour. Then a kid about 11-12 came in after the first kid left. He was kind of bumming also and we talked (I can't remember anymore what we talked about) and he mentioned he liked getting high so I packed us a bowl and we were Irie together for a little bit. Then I left and I think went to my moms house and he took me to their work where she took me to her work where she did work on computers. She showed me these super advanced computers whose screens that had the graphics of a TV almost, I think she was trying to get me to be a computer whiz (which she does in real life). There was one other person in there whom I knew, I think from school previously and black, not necessarily, I don't even think, a real person. Then I said 'great mom, yeah good graphics to and left then I had various minor dreams. One I can remember just as I was walking around this morning.

7-23-95

In my dreams this night the first thing I remember is I was at Jeremy Appell's parents duplex in Boulder on a north-south street, he lived right above Soly Halpern's dads place. I went there with a friend and we went to Geramy's balcony just beyond his room. There were about six of us, three girls and three guys, all beautiful and kind people and I felt proud to be there. We were smoking a kind bowl and sort of real life watching the characters of Beverly hills 90210 doing their thing. I remember commenting 'Kelley is the athletic one, Donna is slow'. I said this when I saw Kelley jumping around and Donna riding off on a bike really slowly. Then I was in Wyndham's old room at the balsam house up stairs and Wyndham was saying 'Kyle, there breaking in, what should we do' I heard some yelling and saw people were rushing through the door and window of the front door, he ran toward my parents old room and I said 'The door locks here' pointing to his door and clicked it, he said 'No it doesn't and went into my moms room. I went under his desk and dialed 911, but by this time they had broken in, captured Wyndham and broken in his room so I surrendered. The kid who found me was about my age and took me to their leader and another guy, both my age and took me to their leader and another guy, both my age. He said 'the government has been thrown over, see this, this is president Clinton.' He was pointing to a vertical mummy at the bottom of the stairs near the door. Then we walked east on balsam and I said 'Great so Marijuana is legal now. 'Yea, want a seed' and he gave me one, then he told me more how all the political organizations have been over thrown. He pointed to a picture of a politician and said 'see that's Ross Perot (or somebody) just before he went to jail in the 80's, he thought his hair was scruffy'. The larger than life picture of a man I saw had clean cut, short hair. Then we went into a house with a metal shop and buffing wheel. 'This is how we will pay our way in the new order'. It never occurred to me to ask what they did with Wyndham. Then the kid said 'one more thing, respect me'. Then my alarm went off and I woke up.

Next dream I had I was in some town that resembled Boulder. I think my mom and Wyndham and I went to a mountaineering store and we looked around, then I went outside and meet an intense, gutsy little boy about 6-7. We went to this fast food place that had a play set outside and there were these enclosed round plastic slides like the ones at water world, but they were too small for me to even fit in. They were really wild. The first one he did he jumped in head first down a steep grade that went under water and the momentum carried him up another one and down and then up and out so he landed on his feet. I think a train went passed through there (like near where my mom lives in Boulder) but it was stopping at a station there. Then the kid tried the other one which was real crazy. It started next to the other one 6-7 feet up, but this one disappeared straight down into the water. But never the less he jumped right on in without thinking twice. I saw him shoot down and then pop up and even bang his head a couple of times as he was shooting through intense twists and turns like a bullet. When he shot out he was groaning with pain. He said he hurt his back when the tube that went straight down turned 180 degrees in about 2-3 feet, which was too much too. His pain between his shoulder blades was chronic so we went to my moms house not too far away and she said to sue the place. So we tried that and the owner said he didn't expect anyone to actually try that one and I think we went to court and won, but that's where my dream ended. I vaguely remember another one about a gangster kid in a group who was trying to start Shit with me but I got him high and we became friends.

7-25-95

In my dreams this morning first I went to Boulder to visit my family. My mom and brothers lived in a weird apartment complex. Then I spent 40 bucks to see widespread panic play and when I went there, (I think it was mountain sun) I saw Phish instead. Then learned my bro and friends were seeing them at Redrocks next week. Then I was going back to high school for a year to student teach. The guy who gave me a ride there was at first hadn't been there before, and when we got there he knew all about the place. I think he was a maintenance man, on the drive there I was just about to pack a bowl of bud my mom gave me by picking it off a wild growing plant near her house. But he packed me a bowl and we drove south of Boulder down a dirt road and back up it to the school up in the woods. He told me where the main registration office was next to the flagpole that comes out off the ground every day. But I couldn't find it and went into the main office room where I asked one of the kid helpers at a desk were it was and he told me, just outside and around the corner. I went out and was looking around the corner. I went out and was looking around when I woke up. I remember planning on cutting my hair and shaving soon and seeing how beautiful it was in the mirror. I don't remember feeling regretful about it though. This is timberline and there are so many mosquitoes here, probably because of all the Aspens that are here.

I remember seeing Sean and reminding him about the 36 bucks he owed me and him not really wanting to pay me. The scene switched before we resolved anything though.

7-28-95

Last night my dreams weren't very strong, since I only got four hours of sleep (10-2). The only one I remember is this little (10?) boy ran down the slope between the road and where I was camped, in the dream I was about 30 feet away in reality about 1215 feet. The sun was just coming up and was getting light and I over slept. The kid runs to me from the road and shakes me awake saying 'Kyle, hurry up, there coming to get you'. And I looked up and there were 4-6 guys running at me from the road.

7-30-95

My dreams last night weren't that strong. I was in some weird town like Boulder and I was climbing a peak, but it was only about 1,000 feet higher than the town and right outside of it like Sugarloaf mountain, I got to the top of it and there was a religious group there. this dream had the same kind of trippy weird feeling that last nights had. perhaps a correlation with the burn-out? Well see. It is Wyndham's B-day in a couple and I ant to make him a drawing.

7-31-95

I had intense dreams last night. First I was at a resort place not in a town but an area like D-town, because there were mountains in the same direction. First I went up towards Purgatory and climbed one (vaguely remember) then I went back to the resort and my mom was there planning a new years party. It was 12-31 and she was doing the last minute rushes. She had a friend (or two?) come over to help. She had every kind of dish out in a huge banquet hall. Wyndham, Mike and I were there. I wanted to help her but she didn't tell me enough things to do and she was really stressed out so I got mad 'why are you so stressed and you can't even tell me what to do to help you!' Then I totally freaked out and Wyndham and mike were trying to clam me down but couldn't. I just kept ranting and raving and hit my moms big planning book. I remember her talking to her friend and her friend saying, 'Yea, he's completely lost it'. Next thing I remember even the friend was gone and nobody was there. Just the four of us in this huge hall with all this food. And I realized I caused nobody to come and my mom made all this for us. Then I remember after dinner my brothers and I watching TV and my mom saying 'I need to take ---- back', and Wyndham saying 'I already did'. And it was a movie I wanted to see but hadn't yet, so I said 'Damn, I wanted to see that'. Then we saw the original Apollo 13 movie they made in the 60's with Kurk Douglas (there was no movie). I remember them loading all the shuttle parts in a truck and the tree men going talking about how they are just meatball astronauts and how did NASA chose them. I also remember the control room people freaking out like in the movie. I also remember my mom had either bought me a Geo metro or herself one and gave me the Subaru, she was really kind to me and think I hurt her feeling a lot by freaking out. I felt really bad when nobody showed up. Then I was in the hot tub section of the resort soaking and a cute waitress being kind to me and bringing me drinks. Then a beautiful 30-35 year old woman was very interested in me and all the mountains and adventures. I was doing this summer. Then she got on top of me. I thought we were just cuddling and talking but I think she wanted to fuck in the hot tub with all the other people in there. So I didn't do anything and I think it disappointed her and she got off me. That's all I remember right now about the dream. I remember cutting my hair and shaving for school to please my mom because I felt guilty about freaking out. But I gravely regretted it. One of those dreams where I thought I had really done it. 'There's 300 species of bugs on a tree in the Amazon' I said 'wow', 'within three days of one of the huge trees falling it is hollowed out by termites'. 'Have you ever read that book Tales of a Shaman's apprentice'. The white haired round jolly old European man from Colorado Springs said. 'They had so much medicine for everything, it's amazing'. 'You know it's sad those shamans are losing their credibility, because they just don't have penicillin'. Said the bearded 45-50 years old who moved in with a woman and sent her son to Durango for high school, and if I see a kid at Pizza Hut (blond) say Jim said hi ('Don't forget life!'). 'The sad thing is more species keep being lost every second with medicinal purposes that are known. huh's and wows. 'Edward Abby is the greatest', the bearded one said.

8-1-95

I had interesting dreams last night. First I was getting a ride with a girl from like Buena vista to Boulder. But there was this hillbilly guy who was also taking. I was going to drive her four door sedan and it became icy out and then cleared up. The first town we went in we went to some Hispanics house and the hillbilly kept asking the guy the same question which he didn't understand. After figuring out what to ask he knocked on the door again and the man told him, he also told us about the hicks next door who had huge pick ups. Then I was back at the river where the cars were parked and our boats also. We were going on a trip, but we were cultivating little snails first that we could talk to. I remember I handled one a little too rough once and it, almost died but it still trusted me. There were about a half dozen of us there on the river bank, I don't remember who though. I think that is when I woke up. Before that I dreamt I was at the (not the real one) house I grew up in and we were selling it and I was cherishing it, it was huge. I was looking at my old room as a kid way up high away from were everybody else lived, and realized how I wish I lived there now that I appreciate living in a beautiful, solitary place. My dreams were fun and light hearted.

8-7-95

In my dreams last night first I was in southern Colorado and then my mom bought land and I s all excited because I was going to build a hay house and sweat lodge. Then I found myself living in a sort of outdoor house next to a river. It was the equivalent to the first street house because Cory was there living upstairs and it was after he took Jared's bike so we weren't on good relations. I remember I beat him up once and he was really easy to beat up, then he said he was going to kill me, so I would have to kill him to protect myself. I kept beating him up and I didn't want to kill him but he kept saying he was doing to kill me so I finally killed him and he turned into a pile of branches which I burned. Then I found my mom bought a house where the land was except we were in south Boulder now. I built a sweat lodge in the back yard which we shared with Wyndham, Perry, Mary Lou, and her sister. I saw them and sat down on a picnic table to eat lunch with Mary Lou and her sister. Then we just sat there and I got up to get something at the sweat lodge and they got up and left but I returned to the table. At the beginning of the dream I was trekking across the land with my mom it was snowy and icy and we were getting water at one unfrozen lake. Other reason we were there also, spiritual, but I can't remember.

8-9-95

In my dreams last night I was backpacking around the collegiate canoe and then I came across Camelot, my guess was that it was a future Camelot after the Armageddon or something, because it had elevators. I was in it and I think I was the prince the bad guys ere trying to capture us I was trying to get away, I was with a small group of friends. We jumped in the elevators there were about ten in a row going down the levels and they had to guess which one we were in. We went up and down them a couple of times before we got away. I was with my brother and this kid from the city. We were in the elevator and Wyndham said something that made the kid mad and started yelling at him. So Wyndham just got off at the next stop. Then we got out and started kicking up a fourteener. By now I had made friends with the kid and we were ahead of a group hiking with us. Camelot was at about timberline and half way up I remember taking a picture and somehow dropping the camera on the trail where the kid was in front of me, he picked it up and gave it to me. Then I was by myself reaching the summit, there were snow fields and it was cloudy and a great view up there. Before in the dream my mom, I guess the Queen had a baby girl who I loved so much. She was so beautiful. I remember hiding her all the time and supporting her head and feeling the soft spot on the top of her head. That's all I can remember. It was an unusually beautiful dream. A new part I remember I was in Durango driving down the road toward main street down college avenue. I was running errands. It was a utopian Durango.

8-10-95

Last night was a good dream night, it was also a full moon. I experienced the usual full moon,. I experienced the usual full moon agitation and insomnia, much worse than the previous nights. I've waited a couple hours to write it down so I forgot probably half of it but what I do remember is me driving my bus through the woods looking for a cool place where a lot of people are, maybe a gathering, concert, or hot springs, or something. I remember kicking through steep woods and such. Then I was in the woods with my mom and little brother in the foothills near Chataqua, but it was different or course, very steep, and much woods and houses like a neighborhood, we were walking across a dirt road. They went ahead and I stayed on the trail to take care of something. Then I hiked straight down about 1,000 or more feet past a super steep dirt section to a house I guess we lived in. Approximately the same location that the first house in Boulder was. Then I remembered I forgot something I guess where my car was up higher and tried to climb up the dirt cliff but it was too steep and I forgot my ice axes so I had to go back and get them. When I entered the house again I was at a different party. With about 15-20 people there, I was sent upstairs to get something for now the house was hers. When I went into the room there was a pretty and interesting looking woman laying in a bed looking at me. I got what I needed and she said. 'Don't you want some?' or something like that referring to sex. So I said 'sure' and we made love and she turned into Madonna. I think the thing I got was a fight championship video because the next thing I remember I was in the video bedroom of the house with my brothers watching the second part of a video given to me before. For now I remember I already had it and was watching it at a college library in some town I can't identify that was flooding severely, except the inside of the building was dry. This video was about some Chinese kick boxer named Chintee or something. The narrator told a brief life story and then I saw a fight between him and a big dude a sign fighter. I saw chin lee do some kind of choke hold on the guy and them through him to the side of the ring, bounce off and fall on the floor unconscious, and chin-lee barely able to stand raising his arms in victory. Then I left the library and wen's on another hike with my mom and brothers south through a beautiful wilderness. Back to the house with my brothers, we were watching the second part of the video and I was very excited to see it rooting for chin-lee. His next competitor was the junk yard dog or something. A really big wide ugly hairy crazy guy who had a pit bull, that he tied his lease around the dogs ass hole pierced through to show how mean he was. He and the dog entered the ring and the camera man did a close up of the pit bulls make shift leash set up. They were about to fight and I think that is where the dream ended. Or at least as much as I can remember. It was a nice time, I woke up very tired probably because it took me so long to get to sleep. 11 or 12. It's interesting, whenever I write dreams down I remember a bunch more form previous times that I have forgotten. I don't want to write them down though.

8-11-95

I had a wacky dream last night. I was driving in the van with my mom driving and I was with my brother. Then we went to a place, like a movie theatre or a zoo or something. I was going to meat my brother there at the base of the mountains and take a shuttle to the airport of something. But Wyndham didn't show up and this intense guy who looked like a cross between Henry Rollins and Oak Crothers told me Wyndham told him to tell me that he was at a party and would catch up with me at the airport, so I got on the shuttle with about 20 people on it and that me trying to get on after it was moving without paying or something because he and the bus driver were yelling at each other, he said he just needed to tell me something. By now we were already at the airport so I got off and started talking to him. For some reason I was holding my whisper light camp stove in my hand and he asked to see it, so I handed it to him and he threw it and it shattered. I said "you asshole, you have to buy me a new one" and he said, "fuck you man, no I'm not". I tried to reason with him but when I realized he was crazy I said forget it and started to walk to the airport and he grabbed me and said "No you don't" and we started fist fighting. I won and ran into the airport where there was a cop there and I told him what this guy did and that he was assaulting me. the guy was just standing there all screw faced.

In the middle of my conversation with the cop Mika walked up to me, he just flew in to Durango from wherever he was. I said "Hey Mika" and hugged him and he said he had to catch his flight and would catch me later. For some reason he was shorter than me which in real life he isn't. then I finished my complaint to the cop. But it didn't do any good because then the guy attacked me again and we fought all over this clothing store. Then he said he was going to kill me so we had a death fight and I killed him and he turned into I think four other crazy murderers. Two male and two female I think.

Then I found myself in a car with them and my brother was there. We parked the car off on a paved road in the woods and we had sort of war and they froze into statues and then I think they then gained their senses and turned good. The energy of that guy was a lot like Andy was when he was freaking out: wanting to attack you, but not whole heartedly because he was easy to over power and he then wanted to talk to you, just really angry and disoriented. I could tell he wasn't really a bad person, just trying to be bad. he was the most equivalent to Oak though, like an Oak freaking out like Andy. This guy was built and bigger than me also. So logically if he was sober he should have been a lot stronger against me than he was. But then again in my dreams I am physically as strong as I want to be.

Something important happened when the four crazies froze, but I cannot remember what it was. AS it turned out Wyndham really was at a party with high school friends. So the guy must have been hanging out with us before.

8-12-95

In my dreams last night I was working for Shano. His studio was outside in the prairie on the side of a road and also 50 feet away in a room. He was also painting and I was helping him with that also. I was also flying over the Boulder-Denver area and noticed all the gig buildings. They looked a whole lot smaller and simpler in the dream than they do in real life. Denver was just a little bigger than Boulder and it had a Roman Aqueduct looking chain of buildings going down the middle. The landscape looked like a model. I also had a dream I was on a mountain bike ride with Wyndham. We were on single track crossing a lot of streams. We got to sort of racing and I dropped him and the other person he was with. And waited for them at the top of the hill, and then we rode back. Another dream was me waking up at this campsite and it being more developed with people every where and a structure bathroom that is all I can remember anymore.

I had a dream about my dad about a week ago. I was in my mom's kitchen eating with my family and he came out of the ether with a red face and started to fix himself something to eat and was very somber. I asked what it was like on the other side and he said that was a stupid question and Wyndham said 'yea Kyle, that is ridiculous'. That is about all I remember.

A couple of nights later I had a dream that my family and I were in San Francisco is a giant donut shaped house with tables overlooking the scenery in the middle. This house was about a mile in diameter. Then my family and I went to another house and I remember my mom tried to jump from a balcony to another balcony that I think I just did but she didn't make it and fell about 20 feet and landed on her head and wasn't moving. Then I remember being in a kitchen and my dad came from the ether again with a red face and I think started eating with us again. This time he was more cheerful and I asked him what it was like on the other side and he didn't answer he and I asked him if he could travel to other galaxies and he kind of scoffed and amusingly said 'Of course not, but I think I can after bardo'. I asked him this high after he stepped into the other side and I saw him disappear and he was still there and told me from there. He said some more things I think but I can't remember.

1997

9-19-97

I had a dream last night that I went to an obscure place in a foreign land by driving north up a dirt road and having an erotic massage by a fat woman with her Vietnamese friend in the room who had a child and immigrated to this country (I assume the USA) for the wellfare of her child. This fat woman wasn't’t white but wasn't’t Asian or black or Native American either. I went in the room after I had a beer in the bar next to it in the same building. I enjoyed it but it was kind of disgusting.

9-29-97

I had a good day today because not much went through by mind, the day went by fast because I didn't think a lot, which is just the way I like it. I had an interesting dream about three nights ago: I was on a plane ride with my mom to somewhere relatively far off, and we landed and took off like ten times or something, and every time we took off, the plane was shot at a 45 degree angle out of a sling shot and there were like three goes and it was very exciting. There were two guys behind me who would yell and scream in excitement every time we took off, and right when we took off, I wanted to be safe and thought that my seat belt wasn’t tight enough, so I would try to tighten it but I would just release it and it happened every time. I can’t remember the part of the dream before that but I was hanging with good friends and the whole dream had very good energy.

The dream I had last night was about the first street house, except it was another house in another town. I lived with some friends in a house a few blocks from a house we called the first street house, which was a one story house that was about 50 by 50 feet, and we hadn’t seen it for a few years because I guess we just moved into town and one of my friends said, "Wow, I don’t remember it being so big" It was in a boring neighborhood, right next to a big road leading out of some flat, dull town. But the energy of the people in the dream was happy.

10-4-97

I had nice dreams last night. I had one that I went to Brett Zimmerman’s house and talked to his mom for a while about my trip. She was very nice, impressed and interested. But I only saw him briefly at the beginning. The neighborhood was very interesting and I liked it a lot. There were houses inside a big glass bubble, so it was like houses within a huge apartment. So the outside of the houses where the sidewalks and streets were as clean and quiet as the insides of the houses. The outside of the bubble was normal and fine, not a barren wasteland or anything. As I was talking to her the scenery changed to another house which was interesting.

The dream I had before that I was in Austin with Wyndham except it wasn’t Austin and it wasn't Wyndham. I walked down the walkway to school and thought about how it has been such a long time since I had been there and how it brought back fond memories; but different memories than the ones I actually have. The city was very industrial and the school was directly north of the road. I remember getting out of a car and seeing a 200 meter walkway lined with squarely trimmed hedges.

11-16-97

I had a cool dream last night. I was in an imaginary town that Judah lived in and they were having a party that started at 6:00 in the morning. And I went and was hanging out with my friends who were drinking and they had like two beers and I felt like I should drink so I had a beer. Then I got hungry so I went across town a couple blocks to a fast food place and got a ? or something at Duncen Donuts or something with some other guys who were foreign. Then we wont back to the party by way of indoors and by now all the freaks were there having migrated from their parties. I remember saying 'Here are the freaks' they were beating wearing tattooed mohawked dyed hairs drugies.

12-24-97

I had a dream last night that I was in Hawaii a e an a few friends who don't actually exist borrowed a new top of the line sailing boat fro a friend of one of them. We were going to sail to California, I remember thinking how all it was and it could topple over backwards in a big storm. we were sailing around from island to island and they were so close together I was like Venice. we sailed by a grocery store right next to the water like Venice and I thought to myself "That's where my dad worked so many years ago" I don't even think I remembered he was dead or even my own identity of who I am now. I remember hanging out in different parts of the boat with my friends and having a good time. then we decided to go on a cruise on a huge boat that had escalators and long malls on it. I remember talking to someone about speed two cruise control and the guy Jason Patrick as a bad actor and fake and me agreeing . Then we were getting teddy to said to America
and talking to other young people who had done it and the boy telling us about the three bodies along the path that told us how many knots we were going and then the said ÒI know, its weird". The dream before that I rode my bike to a youth hostel at night in a place that ZI cannot pinpoint.

1998

1-9-98

I had a dream last night that I was riding to a town farther south with a man and a woman my age. They we rode back and stopped at a restaurant for lunch. This was in Nepal. That is all I can remember.

I had a dream I was traveling around and I was in a strange place in a large hotel, I went up to my room and was talking to a female roommate of mine. Then I went out side and walked around and then got on a bus with a group of kids. Next thing I remember my daughter or girlfriend, who was , was kidnapped, along with another boy and I set off looking for the in a town about the size of Boulder. I was driving down a road and I saw a boy and a girl astounding behind bars in the back of a truck and they looked distressed, so I turned around and I think I alerted a cop and I followed them to the high school, the truck was driving so fast I almost lost it. The truck got to the yard of the school just before I did and I caught the driver and said 'Where are they', and there was a cop with me so he was polite and said 'They aren't anywhere I don't have them', and I said 'Yes you do, I saw them in your truck'. and he said he didn't have them again. Then one of my friends found them in a small diameter ring of trees in green plastic body bags, and he zipped open the bays, who let out a tremendous gasp for breath, then I tried to zip open but I couldn't so I cut it open ad she gave a huge gasp for breath and I felt her face and then told the boy 'They would have died'. and then walked away and I heard another high school kid reprimanding the boy. That's all I remember.

1-15-98

I had some interesting dreams last night, one was I was watching a married with children episode first hand, not on TV, I was in their house and was watching Bundy in the backyard repeatedly cutting someone's head off, and he was really excited about it, then we went to him to realize it was his own head he kept dunking in a tub of water that was attached to a guillotine. Then I looked inside to see the boy working on the computer and the girl writing on a desk next to him, she wasn't Christian Applegate, she was a brown haired girl named Amanda Berg, which is a girl I went to high school with. Before that I had an episode that I was driving my van with my brother Wyndham and I had been traveling the world or something for a long time so I haven't been behind the wheel for a long time. I was in Durango and think waiting to merge into main street and it was rainy and I couldn't see a turn on the right very well or something or I ran a red light or something but I know I did something slightly but not very wrong and merged into the road because there weren't any cars on the road, then right as I merged, a car speed down the road from the bend and almost hit me but didn't then I saw a cop car behind me and I knew it was going to pull me over. The cop was a black man and was being rude and had me step outside then then wanted to search my car. Then I got mind and 'Your a fucking asshole, do as much as you can to me I don't care, I'm as nice to you as I can be you fucking dick'. I was kind of tense because I knew I had a lot of acid somewhere (I wasn't too sure where, which is true) in the car. Then I changed dreams. The next dream I had I was an agent in an office somewhere and Steffano was there but he was like 65 and I was thinking, 'I didn't know he was that big', then I mentioned it to someone and he said 'He ain't 65, he's as tall as me (5-9), he's a little weak man'. A dream I had before that I was in the airport after a long vacation and was weighting in the terminal, and a lot want on but I can't remember Another dream I had I was one of five boys, I was the oldest. And we were dressed like women with sex changes and all and we were taking the bus across town and a cop pulled us over after we got out of the bus and said 'What are you?' and we said (different boys speaking at different times) we were tasting transsexuals and the cop said 'What', fasting is illegal' But I said when I had breakfast this morning but I don't eat anything after that' Then the cop, who was young and confused said to the youngest boy 14-15, 'Well you all fast don't you?' and the boy said 'Well actually, I have cereal every morning but after that I fast all day long'. The cop didn't know what to do so he let us go. Before all of these dreams I had one that I was on an island doing some weird project with people a and traveling around the world before that. The whole dream sequence was crazy and I only remember a small amount of it. But the energy was different and strong and good and funny and real emotionally.

1-16-98

I had a dream last night that I was in Japan with my mom and she had a joint and we smoked it, when, we went down stairs to the subway and I had a box so I sat down and her too, I slid down a metal part and came down do fast I almost slid out into the tracks then she came and slid past the place at the bottom where you are supposed to show your ticket and I was weighting at the tracks to catch her so she doesn't go into the tracks. But the guards saw her and so we went to court, but while we were there a blond 35 year old man took me to his office nearby because he said I was stoned and Pam was there because she was stoned with me at the train station.

I had a dream last night that the end one was an action movie in the sky with Harrison Ford and he was hanging from a helicopter ladder with some other guys fighting, I was watching the making of the movie or something. Before that I was in Boulder or somewhere and Cito Nunn was clean cut looking and told me in the Albertsons near hoe that there was a nature preserve near there that they were protecting a special animal and I should give them support, so I went there and it was a lake with like 30 fishermen who had just caught dogs with fins who where a kind of fish, before that I had a dream but I can't remember it.

1-18-98

One time a year, but I was told that later and was afraid to ride it at the time because I didn't want tit to swallow me up. The last dream I had I was in Spain and walked out of the house I was staying in and I was walking somewhere and Ana Sophia passed me riding a tricycle. It never occurred to me to do that and I got anxious I wasn't going fast enough and so I started floating and then I was naked floating and floated by a high school and all the kids in the classroom were looking at me. Before when I was eating at the cafeteria there was a big building nearby where the king or whoever was and there were many limousines racing up and I thought it was a coupe attempt, good dreams

1-24-98

I had a dream last night that I was staying in a youth hostel with some other kids somewhere and we were staying up late one night and I eventually offered to give a kid a massage and I guess the procedure was too was them because I had him get naked and was rubbing his leg with soap, the I said 'Just take a shower yourself, then I will massage you'. So he got up and I gave him the soap but he dropped in on the floor, and every tine he tried to pick it up it glidded and bounced all over the room like a hocky puck and we said this. A girl was in the room watching us, he picked it up and went into the shower and I think that is when I woke up. Before that I was cruising around the town I think might have been Katmandu. I might have been looking for ice cream I saw Andy Paton before that, he was outside and had been traveling around climbing and was hanging out outside with my friends and I and it wasn't exactly hi but kind of softer, lighter, and younger, but I was thinking of how crazy he is. I can't remember any more. But I now a lot more happened, I can't remember because I have THC in my blood I think.

12-6-98

I had some interesting dreams this morning. I remember one I went from Durango to a strange town with my mom and I think my family with Stephanie Kroner who was kind of my girlfriend but I was a little paranoid and afraid to look at her and ignored her which I felt bad about. When we got to the place she was asleep in the back of the bus with Brie Minger. Then I went into a giant theater without the seats that my mom owned and I wanted to rearrange and decorate it for her but she didn't want me to and so I got all mad at her, that's all I remember. I don't remember my dreams from last night, in fact, the night before last is the first time in months that I did remember them.

24-1-98

I forgot to mention, my last nights dream about the two giant ski resorts I visited in Europe somewhere, I was going to ski there but I only flew over head and watched people get huge air all over the place. I was amazed and excited.

10-1-98

I had amazing dreams last night. The last dream I had I was involved in a business deal between my dad and a woman that I knew nothing about, but I was expected to make it come together by consummating a relationship with her daughter, but they wouldn't actually tell me that. Se ere driving around the hills of a town not unlike the hills of Austin in my dads shiny tornado. We were with one other person and were looking at a house that maybe my dad wanted to guy but like I said all I knew what was going on was some sort of business deal with this woman and my dad. We were standing outside the house and my dad grew frustrated with me and said 'Do you even know what love is?' And I said 'no', then he shrugged and we went back in the car and everybody seemed upset, then the girl bust into tears and sobbed that she had all these superficial relationships that went nowhere and that she doesn't feel like she can have a real one. Then I woke up.

Everybody was superstitious and it was 9:30. I can't say I was particularly attracted to her by peoples standards she was just as beautiful as any girl, but by the end of her speech I was thinking that we were destined to be together. Maybe the women we are meant to be together are the ones you can relate to and don't throw you off into an uncontrollable infatuation. Before that dream I had a dream that I was with Wyndham in Boulder, we were coming home from somewhere to Balsam house. Dad was driving us in the Tornado and we passed Casey Junior High but it was a bigger building and I think there was a boy building competition happening right before that on the hill up to it Wyndham pointed to a building and said that was where he, Ian, and Evan were taking Tae Kwan Do lessons. Then I said, 'Remember his sister, she hated me, and he said 'Yea, she is in school in Cicily, I think she is dating Graham this Saturday. Then we got to colony market and Wyndham said he wishes he had a hand phone and I said in Korea everybody has hand phones. Then I noticed am magazine that said 'Tall women in here'. So I got excited and opened it up, I don't remember seeing any women but at first Wyndham was watching me, then he went away and I got a boner so then he went away and I got a boner so sat down and it got so big it stuck right out of my shorts and I had to tuck it in again. Then I went upstairs again and was talking to Wyndham, I must have just come back from my trip because he said Biscuits fine, he is getting old, though, and I said 'Biscuits still alive?' He said 'No, he's dead' and I said 'he's dead?' and he said 'No he's still alive', and I got excited about seeing him, then the next dream happened. The dream I had before that I was at a fair ground and was partying with a lot of 50 year olds and then I was in a small trailer as it was up with Steven Tyler and another kid. I asked Steven Tyler how old he was and he said 50, and I said 'You look good for 50'. I saw a picture of you in a magazine with your shirt off', and he said 'Thanks, I am getting'....

1999

25-1-99

I had a dream last night that I went to Prince Charles house who was the kind of England. He lived in the country side in a normal sized house surrounded by other joined houses forming a ring wall around it. I was hanging out with him, and was surprised how small it was for the kings house and I looked at him as if I was his mother praising him and he looked at me with pride and he looked kind of goofy to me and then said his child was too small. Then we ventured off somewhere else and I had a dream that I was hanging out with Chris Wherry and Bernie Cohen and they were ignoring me and kind of acting like asshole's. We were in a fast food place and I was friends with the owners who were oriental and we may have been in Asia, and Chris Wrote a message to meet his friend somewhere on the table top and the owner saw him but didn't say anything and I that I was hanging with them. Bernie told Chris he had found a poem which I guess was the cool thing to do. That's all.

2-3-99

I was in Durango but a different Durango and Fred Owen bought a house right under the ski lift on campus, I think ski lift. And then I was in their house hanging out with Eric, but he was ignoring me and walked off with Wyndham or someone, so I left and Fred asked me when I was leaving something were I was going traveling or something. Then I had a dream that I was skiing at a ski resort and I veered to the right and found myself stuck on a cliff with loose rock 30 up, then I woke up.

3-22-99

I had some weird dreams last night, maybe because of the malaria chloroquin pill I took last night. Other people say they have weird dreams not only on Lyrium but Chloroquin I had a dream that I was having a mice conversation with Bill Clinton and then I went to a dinner with him and about 15 other people, including my mom and Eddie Murphy. I arrived first and then he followed b the entourage. He sat next to me and my mom but make up on me but went to the rest room to pee and looked in the mirror and saw myself and I looked like a doll or a made up transvestite. 'I said I look like a made up corps' and my friend who was there said 'yes yo do'. I actually got there right after Bill. When I went back after a whole because I took a long time doing the number two, Bill said something to me like 'you better not be in the bathroom too long again buddy' in a mean way or something like that. Then I went to a coffee shop somewhere and Steven Seagall came in and was obviously flattering himself that he was famous and going to a public place where he knew people would know him. Then he pulled out a cap gun and started shooting people playfully mimicking one of his movies and a couple guys shot back, then he sat down next to me and I said 'You know Shano, Mukara's husband?' and he said 'yes' I said I was his friend and then since I knew he was buddhistically religious I told him about my book but he didn't like the part about Buddhists believing in god and he shot back at me angrily but I didn't really understand him, because it didn't make too much sense.

Then I had a dream that I was on Nias and was surfing and then went inland a bit and saw a peace corp type project that a white girl I knew from the beach was working at and they had all kinds of farm animals there. Then I went to a nearby norm losmen and was there were couple days and then two guys (friends?) came and were talking about how they were going to go to the bar and have sex. ;After they left my finger tips started to really hurt me because I was living in a filthy room, I saw a huge 4-5 inch spider crawling on my bed and there were cobwebs and other bugs all over the place and my finger tips were hurting me badly because over the last couple of days crab shells were growing on my fingers and then I saw a little crab crawl out of my crab shell finger tip and I thought, 'disgusting', before I didn't want to pull the shells off because I thought that if I did they would take my skin off because they there connected to my fingertips and was going to go to the doctor later, but I didn't care anymore and ripped them off and sore calluses were on my fingertips. The next dream I was in the Alps at the bottom of a thousand foot almost sheer cliff with steps carved in it and there was a small lift about the size of a hand and I got on it and rode it all the way u to a small cave and looked at it and the view and then got on the lift again but it didn't have any brakes on it and so I got scared and jumped off it and was stuck on the cliff and was scared. Then I found myself on the bottom observing some locals saying 'Did you hear, there's a mad macho man idiot that climbed up to the cave' and another said, 'he's dead, see him there, he fell down' and I vaguely saw a lump on the ground. But then I woke up because it was 11:30 and time to wake up.

2005

12-02-05

Last night I had a weird dream that I was in some big city in america and I went to a hotel room with paola and I wanted to ride around the town to get to know it, but I wanted to look at a map in the hotel room but paola had started her job as a bus driver and was driving the bus around the room and i was on the bus and couldn't read the map so I got off the bus to read it on the chair in the room.